From “Cafeteria Catholics” to “Used-to-be Catholics”

“The safest road to Hell is the gradual one — the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.” 

C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

Within a few short weeks of finishing a powerful book by Fr. William Casey entitled, You Shall Stand Firm: Preserving the Faith in an Age of Apostasy, my local diocesan newspaper had an article by Bishop Battersby, an auxiliary bishop in Detroit. Bishop Battersby discussed a growing trend to apostasy among even some close friends who are declaring “we are no longer Catholic.” Sadly, he is talking about supposedly stalwart Catholics who grew up Catholic and raised their children Catholic, not those who attend mass only a few times a year. We don’t know anything else about these people he mentions except that they appear to have succumbed to the social issues of today’s world: LGBTQ, abortion, transgenderism, the changing whims of society. As Bishop Battersby says, “Something has become more significant than Jesus for so many, something more relevant for their lives than the narrow road he bids us to trod or the salvation he offers, more bracing than conformation to his person and mission.” 

Jesus tells us that the lord of this world is the devil. The intrinsic evils of secular society are his works, and it is often too easy to fall into his traps. People are afraid to NOT BELONG. Hence, the obsession with social media and the desire to go along to get along. Rather, they need to belong to Jesus and unite with the communion of saints and not secular society. Jesus said, “They [we] are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.” (Jn 17:16) So why are we so obsessed with this world?

I wonder if these people (and so many others like them) have ever truly asked themselves what they believe. If they were asked if they were Christian, how would they respond? Most would say that they believe in Jesus Christ, the only begotten son of the living God, and have accepted him as Lord and Savior. But is it that simple? And, if so, what exactly does that mean? In Bishop Battersby’s example this family says they no longer know what they are, perhaps even atheist or agnostic. I wonder if they have any sense of the direction their souls are heading. By not standing up for Church teaching, they appear to have chosen the wide gate. “Enter by the narrow gate, for the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard, that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” Mt 7:13-14

This situation, not unheard of and all too common, reminded me of an RCIA session I participated in several years ago. One of the candidates remarked on the enthusiasm of our team and asked how we maintained it. I responded that it was important to associate with other Catholics, to support each other and to grow together in the faith. We also tried to impress upon the class that this was just a beginning – conversion does not end with receiving the sacraments at the Easter Vigil. Conversion is a life-long process and does not end until one dies.

Unfortunately, too many “cradle Catholics” (born into Catholic families) are left with the impression that, to be good Catholics, one must raise the children to receive the sacraments, attend mass on Sundays and receive communion at least once a year during the Easter season. The concept that they must undergo conversion every day of their lives is as true for them as for any converts. Sadly, too few parishes have programs to help them understand or grow in this task. And too many of these Catholics become lukewarm, always finding excuses to put other things ahead of Jesus and the path to heaven.

Instead of looking to Jesus as a friend, they miss the opportunity to have a personal encounter with him. Jesus is real, and really present in the Eucharist. But going through the motions, especially while being distracted, will not get you close to him. He desires closeness. Why else would he give us the Eucharist? But so many Catholics are so casual and even distracted when receiving you wonder what they truly believe in their hearts.

This is not a new lesson. Jesus told his disciples, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” (Mt 18:20) The Letter to the Hebrews tells the faithful “let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, …”

The need to come together for mutual support and growth in the faith, so overlooked for so long, is at a critical point in the Church, and especially so for men’s groups. Men are called to be the head of the family, the domestic Church. Fathers need to set the example for the family, to lead it on this path to conversion, to coming closer to Christ. The family is the building block of society. This why so many groups that want to breakdown society (e.g., Marxists) attack the Church and the family. These two groups stand in the way of government replacing God in our lives. And while some lament the increase in violence and chaos in communities, some even recognizing the breakdown of the family as a major cause, they applaud programs and policies that exacerbate this breakdown, including abortion, racism (under the guise of fighting racism), denial of parental rights (e.g., through school boards), transgenderism, and support for LGBTQ+ policies. So many of these adverse effects on the family are the result of men not willing to stand up for their responsibilities. 

Personal responsibility is no longer taught in many families. And yet, by virtue of our free will, we are responsible for the things we do, for the choices we make. “Before a man are life and death, good and evil, and whichever he chooses will be given to him.” (Sir 15:17) “I have often heard it said that the worst affliction God can permit to befall His people is to allow us to follow our own designs in opposition to His own.” (Fr. Casey, You Shall Stand Firm, p. 14)

In the example Bishop Battersby mentions, secular society has won out over this family that could not reconcile Catholic teaching with the assault of evil in their lives. They have become lukewarm Catholics. Jesus describes his feelings about lukewarm faith in Revelation, “So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth.” (Rev 3:16) Perhaps they do not see the evil in the secular world. Many want to deny that evil exists. Many don’t believe in hell or the devil. 

These are the same people who say things like “love is love” in an attempt to justify or excuse homosexual practices. By doing so they become complicit in the sin of others. We have a duty to admonish the sinner, but many in the Church, at various levels, refuse to call out sin. “Sin is a personal act,” but we can incur a responsibility for the sins of others “when we cooperate in them” by participation, approving, praising, not hindering them, or by protecting evil doers. (CCC 1868)

Perhaps this family will awaken to the emptiness of life without Jesus. That happened to me. I went through a period of about 14 years away from the Church until I hit a low point during which I realized that only Jesus could fill the emptiness and he had been calling to me all that time. I had just refused to listen. We need to pray for them and people like them. But we must also NOT be afraid to speak out in defense of our faith. As Catholics we have the fullness of revelation and a line on God’s plan for salvation. If we remain silent we may soon find ourselves on the same wide path.

Fr. Casey pointed out the problem with families like these, “How many millions of Catholic parents over the last six decades have been seemingly content to witness the pagan conquest not only of this country but of their own homes, their own families, and their own kids as well?” (p. 31) Time to join the fight.

“The refusal to take sides on great moral issues is itself a decision. It is a silent acquiescence to evil. The tragedy of our time is that those who still believe in honesty lack fire and conviction while those who believe in dishonesty are full of passionate conviction.”

Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

Published in Oremus Press, Volume XIV, Issue 11, December 2023